Building A Healthy Relationship With Yourself

How kind are you to YOU? Serious question. With our many thoughts that pass through our minds throughout the day, every day, sometimes we don’t consider how and what we think about ourselves. For those who have children, you may notice how well their behavior is based upon how you talk to them. I have witnessed parents who don’t talk nicely to their children, and the child repeats the actions that their parents have yelled at them not to do. I have also seen the difference in parents who do not yell and take their personal frustrations out on their children, and the child’s behavior reflects the parents actions.

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I am not saying that this is how it is with every household, this is just what I have observed with strangers, friends and family. Kindness does matter. Kindness towards yourself matters.

Often when we think we don’t stop negative thoughts. They either pass quickly, or we stay focused on them. “I should have done…” “Why didn’t I..” “I wish my life was different…” and other thoughts that are not always healthy.

No one is perfect, and it’s human not to be. But it’s ok to think positive things about yourself. I am not a therapist, but I have seen the change in my thoughts from using the CBT method and workbooks which I will further discuss in another blog. Between workbooks, mantras, etc., you can find a way to think positive about YOU.

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“I’m doing great.”

“It feels good to…”

“Let me help myself by resting so I’ll have better energy to do this.”

It changes your outlook in life when you have a better view and opinion of yourself.

I use the “I am” method that I discovered by watching a video on YouTube.

“I am making progress to reach my goal.”

“I am healthy.”

“I am rested.”

And so on. “I am” followed by something positive may not come easy at first but after continuously saying these things I have found myself frowning less, not stressing out as much over little things and not being irritable with my partner, say, if there is a miscommunication.

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We watch what we say to others, having a tone of being calm and wanting to be understood without confrontation. Think of it as communicating with yourself. Caring about how you talk to yourself as you do your lover, child, or even your dog.

Enjoy your weekend!

-Kadesh Carter

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